fbpx

Tag: familystories

Posted on

Finding the Stories in Your Family – Interviewing Your Relatives

Your family history is so much more than names, dates and places. It’s the stories that make it so fascinating. Tales of overcoming hardship, exploring new lands through immigration, the impact of changing technologies in a fast-evolving world, and even yes, the odd scandal! It all puts flesh on the bones of our ancestors and brings those bare facts found in documents to life. As you begin exploring your family’s stories you may even recognise some of your own personality and character traits in your ancestors and see where they have come from.

I highly recommend that you sit down with some of your older relatives while they are still available to speak with. If they are not local, can you Skype, FaceTime or even call them? Letters are great, but stories tend to come out most effectively when the conversation is two-way in real time. Whatever method you go with, do it now…the stories die with those who hold them. Don’t be fooled into thinking that if they had anything interesting to tell you they would have done so by now. They may have assumed you already knew or wouldn’t be interested in hearing it!

Last year, I had the great privilege of spending some time with an elderly uncle on the other side of the world from me. I asked him if we could talk about his life as a child. He was surprised but very willing. He started by saying that he wouldn’t have much to say as he couldn’t remember much. Almost three hours later he drew breath after sharing some amazing and fascinating tales that put his life and that of the broader family into great context and answered many questions that would never have been solved through documents alone. It was invaluable.


Some tips when interviewing your relatives:

  1. If at all possible, record the conversation (with their permission). There is no way you will remember everything they say, and it means you won’t distract them or make them feel self-conscious by writing notes or having to ask them to pause mid-flow while you get everything down. You can just give them your full attention. Place the recording item (which may just be your phone) close by but unobtrusive so that they aren’t feeling uncomfortable.
  2. Prepare some ‘prompt’ questions before you go, in case they have trouble getting started or go blank. If there’s any particular era of their life that you are interested in, try asking a question around that time to get them started. For example, “I understand the family was bombed out in World War 2, can you tell me about that? I imagine it would have been a very scary time for you as a child”. You may find once they get started, the stories will segue into others as further memories are prompted.
  3. Be sensitive to their comfort, signs of fatigue or distress, and do not be tempted to keep going because you want the information. If they are straying into areas where they are clearly uncomfortable going, steer the topic to something else so they don’t feel compelled to continue down a path they accidentally got onto. Take breaks if necessary. Make them a cup of tea. Even if they’re enjoying it they may need to pause for a while and talk about other things.
  4. If possible, visit them in their own environment. They will be more relaxed there and they may remember during a story that they have photos, mementos or other items that they can show you, a wonderful bonus!
  5. Take them a little gift as appreciation for their time and effort, and perhaps a nice cake to go with the cuppa!

Has anyone else had the experience of interviewing their elderly relatives, and if so, did you come across anything that completely changed your perspective on the life of the family? Share your experiences in the comments!

Posted on

Starting Your Family History

When you first set out on your genealogy journey, it can be difficult to know where to begin. When I began, I was a teenager and it was the 1980’s. Yes, I’m that old. Really. So, every resource was accessed the old-fashioned way. Snail mail or visiting the site where they were kept.

It wasn’t like today where it seems like everything is digitised and just the click of a mouse away (that is an illusion and the subject of another blog post to come!). If I wanted a certificate from overseas, I had to write to a professional over there, get them to find the item, purchase it and post it to me. As a poor student at the time, this was both frustrating and expensive.

My strong advice, even in these days of easier access to information online, is ALWAYS begin with what you already know or can find out from people and items in your family. You might be surprised how far you can get before having to decide which subscription genealogy services you might need to invest in or to consider the services of a professional.

I talked with my parents, and wrote to surviving grandparents in England, and got as much information as I could from them. Names, dates, places, stories, photos, things that had been passed down through the family…anything they could tell me that might give me a clue as to where to look next.

Then I asked them who else might have information, photos or documents that might assist. I’m a hopeless letter writer, but I remember sending swathes of aerogrammes over to the UK, as I wrote to elderly barely-known relatives asking them for their memories. Those memories are precious now. Those letters were often my last contact with them before they passed away, and their writing was so much more interesting than the facts listed in an official document. Hints at family secrets, feuds, and random puzzling snippets (such as ‘We think Mrs McKnight is dead now’ from a slightly dotty great aunt which made no sense for 25 years!) add flesh to the bones of the burgeoning family tree.

Now that genealogy has become such a popular hobby, you may also be lucky enough to find out that someone in the extended family has already done some work on their side of your tree and be willing to share what they have found out with you (along with copies of their documentary sources if you’re super lucky!). And in return, as you find new things out about your common ancestors, you’ll share back with them, won’t you?

By the time you’ve finished with talking with everyone, you should find your tree has extended back to at least the early 20th Century for very little outlay. You are now back into the era of ancestors who can be confidently presumed dead, and thus publicly available records exist. We’ll be talking about records and where to find them in future blogs.

By this time too, there is no going back. The genealogy bug will have well and truly bitten you, so the quote above is really a mockery. There is no end to a family tree. You won’t stop, trust me!

Has anyone found out anything interesting from family members which sent them down the genealogy rabbit hole never to return? Comment below!